you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i dont even know how to be here
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
