Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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