Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
