They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
