Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
