I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
