What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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