Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
