just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
