Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
