Little spoons don't ask big questions
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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