that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ketchup is God's man juice
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
