is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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