WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
