walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I AM VODKA MAN
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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