Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
