I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
