Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
