Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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