you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
