you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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