i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
