so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
