Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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