omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
now i know why i became what i already was.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
