dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
