like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
