Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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