I hate all girls vehemently.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
