she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
