Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
