So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
