super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we're making bets on your personal life
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize