My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
