Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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