She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize