I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
