They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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