Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?

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(863): View more from Florida

I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.

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(951): View more from California

We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.

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(818): View more from California

Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?

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(323): View more from California

Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b

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