I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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