Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
