You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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