He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
