This dress was meant to end up on your floor
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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