ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
