He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
