Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
