I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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