I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
