Who wears a wallet chain?!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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