your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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