I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
