Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
