So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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