love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
