hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
