why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You took a bar mat shot.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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