Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
