yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
